Oh jeetje, wat leef ik in een bubbel. Ik kreeg veel mailtjes met feedback met daarin de vraag: "Waarom schijf je in het Engels?". Voor mij paste daar een logisch antwoord: omdat ik graag zo veel mogelijk mannen help met deze community.

Maar, wat ik mij niet realiseerde, is dat ik door mijn keuze om alles in het Engels te schrijven ook mensen uitsluit. Mijn Nederlandstalige mede-landers. Inmiddels begrijp ik dat zij liever Nederlands lezen.

Ook zijn jullie benieuwd naar wie ik ben, dus daar wil ik ook meer mee doen. Komt er aan. Maar, dit is ook een passie-project dat ik naast m'n fulltime job doe, dus dat is niet in een week geregeld.

Hulpvraag: nu is NYD een volledig door mij gefinancierd passie-project, van ongeveer 100 euro per maand. Mocht je een idee hebben hoe dit in ieder geval kostenneutraal kan bestaan, dan hoor ik het graag!

It's the Monday before my first public appearance as creator of NotYetDads.com. Linda kindly invited me to an event in Pakhuis de Zwijger titled "the art of being unhappy."  The night shares its title with the main speaker's book, written by psychiatrist, writer, and professor Dirk de Wachter.

Besides Dirk, Linda will take the stage to speak about creating her platform, "Normaal Gesproken." It predates NotYetDads by a couple of years and has the mission to open up conversations about mental health. She's interviewed many people that share intimate insights into their lives just as she's interviewed me. 

Out of all people, she chose me as an example on stage for the program in Pakhuis de Zwijger. I'm honored and somewhat nervous. What about me is interesting enough for a whole room of people? 

Let alone the fact that my website/community here isn't even halfway finished yet. Shit. I'll have to make do with a temporary placeholder and the basic info. You might want to start with this story.

All advice or suggestions are welcome, contact me here.

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So, here it is. The new year, and the digital start of the community of NotYetDads. I'm glad you're here. I'll start by jotting down my intention for this community and write it to you personally to see if that resonates.

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You should feel comfortable and welcome at all times. I'd like to you feel like you're sitting around a bonfire with friends, chatting, and sipping on your favourite drink. The atmosphere is relaxed, jokes are made, and you notice people sharing stories. There are men from all ages and stages of life just being themselves. No suits, no charades, no fancy titles. Everything is first name basis here.

Know that you're always invited to participate when you have something to give or when a need has come up. Others may listen, offer advice, or just share your mood. Humor is a cure. And in the end, there's always someone bringing good food.

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Next to this online phenomenon, there will be offline meetings, and I'll be offering skype-calls for those that want to talk.

But for now, it's just doing the work to get it started. Feel free to reach out if you have suggestions or questions.

MM